I , like Russians , am VERY WARY of people who smile too much or are too happy. Torn because I don’t like the “performative -nihilist-we-are-all-gonna -die “types either
In my younger years I read that Sigmund Freud was once asked what psychoanalysis was “for” and he replied that it was to give the analysand the capacity “to work and to love,” and after that, everything else for a good life was possible. I like that because it implies that maturity is necessary to love and lifts up work, an honest day’s labor, as the source of satisfaction and fulfillment.
At 61, I have many happy years behind me and a few years ahead of me that I also expect to be happily spent, loving and working.
The song, Lucky Man, by The Verve, captures this and has been a lifelong mantra for by brother and I. One should listen to it once a month or so. "Happiness, more or less, it's just a change in me, something in my liberty..."
When staying at a Buddhist monastery once the abbot told me "We must stop coming up with ways to make ourselves miserable." That's something I try to remind myself of often.
Sure, the world is an imperfect place (which gives everyone an opportunity to be helpful and heroic in their lifetime), but the internet fuels catastrophizing and hyperbole over the human condition: it's mean world syndrome on steroids.
A pleasure to read. I'm reminded of ancient knowledge and modern versions containing similar nuggets of wisdom worth contemplating, from seeing reality as is (common in both Eastern and Western traditions), to the hermetic principle of correspondence between the inside and outside, the modern cliched law of attraction, the wise advice of we become the people we surround ourselves with, our habits, etc. Years ago, over a decade, I just started smiling more often because we can tell by observing "the resting face" in older people what their default emotional state was, and as superficial as this is, it turns out if we smile more often, we're happier (I believe science even backs this up: smiling for 60 seconds releases certain chemicals and alters our mood). Later on, it's actually weird, especially today with everyone engrossed in their personal screens, to go around smiling. People look at me and smile. I also make it a point to crack spontaneous jokes where possible with service people everyday, and amazingly even in big chain stores, cashiers remember me, it builds human connections (doesn't always work or land, but the best one and feel free to run with it, is to say a variant of "enjoy yourself", which because people are working, often in repetitive tasks, elicits a smirk and a brief laugh, but I swear it breaks through and you differentiate yourself from everyone else).
Beyond the cliche I think you're absolutely right. Everyone struggles, but how we approach the struggle changes everything. As for the online slop, I struggle with it at times, so I'm not talking from any pulpit. My personal interests include international relations and geopolitics, and it's depressing as fk these days, like most days, especially because bad and angry news sells, it's become a self fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom.
Another thing I've been doing more often is to leave my phone at home while running errands or going on semi-daily walks. When I tell people this they think I'm crazy, but I think it's great. It feels weird in the beginning and that's why I know it's a great habit.
A very timely article, as I have been thinking about this topic.
I watched my father turn into the angry Fox News watching guy everyone talks about.
He was definitely angry about the direction of country before he passed away. The cable news doom cycle is pretty much designed to turbo charge the male tendency to become overly reflective and isolated in their later years.
The opposite to the old guy phenomenon are all the young guys bitching and moaning about living in the Hard times. Complaining about how the boomers fucked them over.
OK, that might be true. But life or reality doesn’t care about your feelings. Ok, you got fucked over. Stop crying and get on with it. Be the strong man that in Kali Yuga or the wolf’s age- something these complainers like to refer to when complaining about the state of the world- that cuts his way through these ages.
The men in these sagas and stories didn’t just lie down and take it. They grabbed a broad sword, rounded up their buddies and they cut a path to the new cycle.
Hello, I have been following your work for quite some time now, I want to know about the book list you shared once; i cannot seem to find it. It had Sun and Steel, Odyssey, etc
I , like Russians , am VERY WARY of people who smile too much or are too happy. Torn because I don’t like the “performative -nihilist-we-are-all-gonna -die “types either
There’s a giggly, obnoxious kind of happy that can be off-putting.
In my younger years I read that Sigmund Freud was once asked what psychoanalysis was “for” and he replied that it was to give the analysand the capacity “to work and to love,” and after that, everything else for a good life was possible. I like that because it implies that maturity is necessary to love and lifts up work, an honest day’s labor, as the source of satisfaction and fulfillment.
At 61, I have many happy years behind me and a few years ahead of me that I also expect to be happily spent, loving and working.
The song, Lucky Man, by The Verve, captures this and has been a lifelong mantra for by brother and I. One should listen to it once a month or so. "Happiness, more or less, it's just a change in me, something in my liberty..."
“We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.” — Jack Gilbert
When staying at a Buddhist monastery once the abbot told me "We must stop coming up with ways to make ourselves miserable." That's something I try to remind myself of often.
Sure, the world is an imperfect place (which gives everyone an opportunity to be helpful and heroic in their lifetime), but the internet fuels catastrophizing and hyperbole over the human condition: it's mean world syndrome on steroids.
A pleasure to read. I'm reminded of ancient knowledge and modern versions containing similar nuggets of wisdom worth contemplating, from seeing reality as is (common in both Eastern and Western traditions), to the hermetic principle of correspondence between the inside and outside, the modern cliched law of attraction, the wise advice of we become the people we surround ourselves with, our habits, etc. Years ago, over a decade, I just started smiling more often because we can tell by observing "the resting face" in older people what their default emotional state was, and as superficial as this is, it turns out if we smile more often, we're happier (I believe science even backs this up: smiling for 60 seconds releases certain chemicals and alters our mood). Later on, it's actually weird, especially today with everyone engrossed in their personal screens, to go around smiling. People look at me and smile. I also make it a point to crack spontaneous jokes where possible with service people everyday, and amazingly even in big chain stores, cashiers remember me, it builds human connections (doesn't always work or land, but the best one and feel free to run with it, is to say a variant of "enjoy yourself", which because people are working, often in repetitive tasks, elicits a smirk and a brief laugh, but I swear it breaks through and you differentiate yourself from everyone else).
Beyond the cliche I think you're absolutely right. Everyone struggles, but how we approach the struggle changes everything. As for the online slop, I struggle with it at times, so I'm not talking from any pulpit. My personal interests include international relations and geopolitics, and it's depressing as fk these days, like most days, especially because bad and angry news sells, it's become a self fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom.
Another thing I've been doing more often is to leave my phone at home while running errands or going on semi-daily walks. When I tell people this they think I'm crazy, but I think it's great. It feels weird in the beginning and that's why I know it's a great habit.
A very timely article, as I have been thinking about this topic.
I watched my father turn into the angry Fox News watching guy everyone talks about.
He was definitely angry about the direction of country before he passed away. The cable news doom cycle is pretty much designed to turbo charge the male tendency to become overly reflective and isolated in their later years.
The opposite to the old guy phenomenon are all the young guys bitching and moaning about living in the Hard times. Complaining about how the boomers fucked them over.
OK, that might be true. But life or reality doesn’t care about your feelings. Ok, you got fucked over. Stop crying and get on with it. Be the strong man that in Kali Yuga or the wolf’s age- something these complainers like to refer to when complaining about the state of the world- that cuts his way through these ages.
The men in these sagas and stories didn’t just lie down and take it. They grabbed a broad sword, rounded up their buddies and they cut a path to the new cycle.
Hello, I have been following your work for quite some time now, I want to know about the book list you shared once; i cannot seem to find it. It had Sun and Steel, Odyssey, etc
I have no idea when I would have posted that over the past 15 years or what the context of the list was.
Such a "Jack Donovan" answer haha. Anyways thanks! I read all your books, your articles, and listen to your talks. Take care of your health! 🙏🏻
Thanks!